Agent Manny Delcarmen Successfully Infiltrates Our Enemy’s Base of Operations in New York

by Red February 1, 2012

Some good news out of New York: The Yankees have unwittingly signed Manny Delcarmen to a minor-league deal. Those tools. Little do they realize that if (some might say “when”) the Pride of West Roxbury High makes the big club, he’ll almost certainly be relaying key information about his fellow Yanks pitchers (weaknesses, injuries, likelihood [...]

4 comments

My Foolproof, Biased and Slightly Alcohol-Inspired Plan for Returning Some Luster to the Boston Red Sox

by Red January 31, 2012

Dear Boston Red Sox: After a Hindenburg-rific crash-and-burn last September and rumors of a clubhouse full of sordid millionaires, beer swillin’ under-achievers and anti-Teets sentiment, I’m thinking you guys could use a little positive press for the 2012 season. Sure, signing up a bunch of shiny new players always helps, but there’s a lot more [...]

10 comments

NESN’s New Blonde Bombshell

by Red January 30, 2012

Anyone concerned that the loss of Heidi Watney may have sucked some critical blonde mojo from NESN Red Sox telecasts take heart: Mighty Matt Stairs, so mean he once shot a man just for snoring*, will be joining the Sox broadcast team as an in-studio analyst. [*Not true at all]

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Return to the Planet of the Wakefields II

by Red January 30, 2012

While the Red Sox are busy making their plans for the 2012 season, one thing they should do at their earliest convenience is re-sign Tim Wakefield. Ever since he first took the mound for the Sox in 1942 in a spot start for the injured Oscar Judd, Wakefield has been a living piece of Red [...]

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Your Daily Dose of “Yankees Suck”

by Denton January 29, 2012
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Suddenly, Losing Theo Doesn’t Seem That Bad

by Red January 28, 2012

Yes, it sucks to lose our Boy Wonder GM. But check it out–we’re all getting booty! Sounds like a fair deal to me. Just hope Bud picks somebody hot.

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Bobby Valentine, Your Line-Up Worries Are Over

by Red January 28, 2012

And I remember thinking, what seems a lifetime ago, “Mo Vaughn and Jose Canseco in the same line-up? Man, we are going to crush the competition.” Also, now that it looks like Roy Oswalt’s going to the Cardinals, we’ve got some extra dough to throw around. C’mon, Ben. it’s Canseco Time!

4 comments

“There’s No One/Except the New Girl”

by Red January 27, 2012

As Chad Finn reports, Jenny Dell is apparently set to be named as the new reporter for NESN Red Sox broadcasts, filling the void left by Heidi Watney’s departure last December. For those of you unfamiliar with Dell, here’s her show reel: Thanks to BB for the link.

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Cody Ross Gets JD’s Number

by Red January 27, 2012

So. Cody Ross is your new number 7. And JD Drew, rumored to be retiring, gets to wake up every morning, look himself in the mirror and say, “Man, I can buy anything I want today.” For a quiet guy, Drew was perhaps one of the most polarizing players to wear the red hose over [...]

14 comments

The Return of Heidi Watney

by Red January 26, 2012

I’ll be honest: When Heidi Watney first showed up on my TV screen, I tried to play it cool. In the span of five years we’d lost Krisily and Hazel and Tina and I’d learned that any relationship with a NESN personality not named “Remy” would be a fleeting thing. But over time, she kicked [...]

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