ortiz_candle

Couple weeks back I wrote about the commercialization of the David Ortiz Farewell Tour. While we still haven’t quit hit critical mass, we now have evidence that the downward spiral may be quickening.

The Yankee Candle Company has released a commemorative David Ortiz candle, which promises “an intoxicating and masculine blend of musk, patchouli, sage and mahogany cologne.” I’ve yet to encounter a “masculine” blend of patchouli anywhere on this earth, and I’m hesitant to light up anything that threatens to make my house smell like a man who isn’t me.

Simply put, I could write an Edubirdie essay on everything that’s wrong with this. But the proceeds are going to a very worthy cause in the David Ortiz Children’s Fund, so it’s tough to find fault with that. Hell, for another opportunity to salute the Large Father, I may even lift my personal boycott of any products that contain the word “Yankee.”