Pedro Martinez

Damn right I’m biased. About as biased as they come. But if the memory of 120 pound Pedro Martinez manhandling noted protein shake-quaffers Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire doesn’t fill you with a little bit of glee, you’d best just move the fuck back to Communist Russia where you belong.

This was 1999, the Summer of Pedro, and with the 1999 All Star Game being held at Fenway Park, all of a sudden the world was in his house. He responded by striking out the first four batters he faced and serving notice that with him at the reins, the Sox would be a force to be reckoned with down the stretch. McGwire and Sosa in particular look like they’d have better luck tying a knot in a stream of piss than catching up to Pedey’s fastball.

This was probably the last All-Star Game I watched from start to finish. And after seeing Pedro work his magic, there never really was another reason in my mind to ever tune in to another. Nothing would top the unstoppable awesomeness of the World’s Skinniest Jedi doing our park and our city proud. You could’ve taken odds on Pedey anywhere from your corner bookie to the best online casino Canada and come up a winner every time.

If we’d only had a few more horses of his calibre on the team, we might have been able to overtake New York in the ALCS just a few months later. Nonetheless, his performance on the mound that night was one for the ages.

Oh, and who was the starting pitcher for the National League that year, you ask? Philadelphia’s own Curt Schilling!