Underneath the harsh, alcohol-soaked exteriors, Denton and I are a couple of true romantics. We are also pretty fucking tight with a dime. Therefore, we are happy to present you with a set of Red Sox valentines that you can print, cut, send to the object of your affection, then sit in your cold apartment picking at a sandwich as the clock slowly counts off the seconds of your life. Just like we do.

Yes, these are the same things we offered last year. Were we not hungover, we’d have done up some new puppies.

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