JimRice

 

Hey SG ladies. Seventies Jim here to give you my 2013 preview. And, as always, to let you enjoy the bulges in my polyester slacks. You know what I’m talking about.

I like what I’ seeing so far.Speaking of seeing, if they had that, what do you call it…LASIK eye surgery back when I played, my own career would have been extended. Extended career means more home runs for Jim Ed. More home runs for Jim Ed means Jim Ed is in the Hall of Fame when Billy Clinton was in the White House. And Bill Clinton liked the ladies the same way Jim Ed does.

Another thing about that LASIK thing. I could have avoided the unfortunate incident where I touched Rod Stewart’s buttocks inappropriately thinking he was Angie Dickinson. Now that is someone who could slap the cuffs on Jim Ed anytime she wanted.

What was I talking about? Red Sox. Hitters gotta hit. Pitchers gotta pitch. That’s exactly what these boys are doing. And if Alfredo knows what’s good for him, he’ll pitch. Otherwise Jim Ed will be having a chat.