Drew

If the Red Sox hadn’t won the 2004 World Series and 2007 was our official “Curse breaker” season, then JD Drew’s grand slam in game seven of the ALCS would be the stuff of legend. As big as The Steal. As feared as Whitey Bulger. As unstoppably awesome as that time you somehow tricked the O’Leary sisters into thinking that you were both yourself and your cousin Monty and got them to agree to a double date. Kids would pledge allegiance to JD Drew and we’d never, ever use words like “overpaid” and “meh” and “well, he’s no Trot Nixon” when speaking of him.

So I was rather excited to hear that the Sox had signed JD’s bro Stephen to a one-year deal. Because now, it’s like we get to experience a bit of that JD Drew magic all over again. But for much shorter money. And for a guy with considerably less skills. Who gets injured a lot.

If you’re a betting sort, you may feel sporty enough to put down some money on how much Drew’s gonna help our team next year. My estimate is “a bit less than Josh Hamilton might have but certainly more than my Aunt Fred or a log would.”

The most important thing to take away from this signing is that John Henry has effectively replaced T. Rowe Price as the official retirement plan of the Drew family.