I can’t believe I’m wasting my time perpetuating this as “news” but I can’t help myself. The king of sports fan douchebaggery, “Fireman Ed,” is now the artist formerly known as Fireman Ed. In his press release…yes, you read that correctly, the a-hole issued a press release…Just Plain Ed said “We have had much worse teams than this and I never left before,” Anzalone wrote. “I pride myself in that, because I am not a quitter.” But…you just quit? Your statement makes less sense than a grown man going to a football game wearing a fireman’s helmet.

But wait, there’s more! The only thing that could make this story even dumber is if, say, the Jets head coach commented on it. And in true “my franchise is a laughing stock” tradition, Rex commented:

“I love that guy’s passion and the energy that he would bring,” said Ryan, who said he was “disappointed” when he heard the news.

“He was great. But I think (if) we do our job on the field, that Jet chant will continue,” he said.

Imagine, if you will (that was my Rod Serling voice), that there was some crazy-ass loser that went to Gillette wearing something that had nothing at all to do with the Patriots. Also imagine this jerk-off led some kind of cheer, and keeping with the premise of suspending disbelief, image the real fans didn’t kick his ass on sight. Then, stretch it that one step further and imagine if Bill Belichick was asked about this fan during an interview. You see where this is going?

I’m sure Bobby V would have had a comment though…