Man, there are some great baseball GM stalking stories out there, like the time Ernest Borgnine followed Lou Gorman to a roast beef place in Chelsea. But this latest incident involving Theo Epstein, as reported by, ranks among my favorites.

Apparently a woman from Canton, who had previously been caught getting a wee bit too close to Mr. Epstein’s living space when he was still working here, pulled the tents and moved her circus to Chicago where she was just busted for staking out Theo’s swanky Illinois digs.

What makes it, though, is her excuse: she just wanted to invite him to go to church.

That’s one I wish I had up my sleeve when the FBI dragged me out of the crude tree fort I’d constructed from old Pabst cases in a large maple on Heidi Watney’s property. Or the time I removed the glass and wiring from Tina Cervasio’s TV set and tried to convince her I was a slightly amusing WKRP re-run from the late 80s. Or the time I tried to mail myself to Hazel Mae.

I could go on. But, you know. It’s game time. Sox versus Sox. Dig it.