Youk Gets A New Deck, Valentine Keeps His Kidneys

by Denton on June 22, 2012

Well, I wonder if Youk is smiling now. Valentine has finally seen the light that is Will Middlebrooks and decided to “ride the hot hand.”

 “He doesn’t necessarily totally agree with it and doesn’t wake up in the morning and hope that’s the case, but I think the professional person that Kevin is, he understands it,” Valentine said. “Yes. I think he’s fine.” 

I doubt that he’s fine, I see the conversation going something like this:

Valentine: So Kevin, quite a game for Will last night.

Youkilis: If you’re here to tell me you’re sitting me down, think again old man. If I hear the word “bench” in the same sentence as my name, you’ll be sporting a fancy new scrotum bow tie.

Valentine: ::laughs nervously:: No, nothing like that. I was just thinking you might want a little…rest…or something?

Youkilis: And I was just thinking you might want a kidney removed by way of your wrinkly old ass?

Valentine: Well, now, let’s be professional…

Youkilis: You want professional? I’ll get a “professional” doctor to take both kidneys and you’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice. You think that’s just some urban legend? Ha.

Valentine: Do you need any decks or fences built? We can make this work…

Youkilis: Now you’re talking. You work on the “riding the hot hand” speech and I’ll make a list of construction projects needed at Casa Youk. And you get to keep your vital organs. For now.

Valentine: Deal.

Sox and Braves tonight barring hailstorms or locusts. Let’s make it six straight.

191 comments
GarrettCRW
GarrettCRW

So, Youk may be headed to either the White Sox or an as-yet-unnamed NL team, and Middlebrooks is a triple away from the cycle.

 

Discuss.

HorshamScouse
HorshamScouse like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Works for me, although finishing with the Reds would have a nice symmetry. @GarrettCRW

English Sox Fan
English Sox Fan

Evening folks.  Going well so far.  Glad I didn't stay up last night.

Nikki in Denver
Nikki in Denver

I feel like Buck has talked more about the Youkilis trade than the actual game.

EthanUK
EthanUK like.author.displayName 1 Like

So, Middlebrooks. He's pretty great huh.

Nikki in Denver
Nikki in Denver

Errrr...Charlie Sheen is in the booth right now. Oddly enough, he's doing a much better job than Dumb and Dumber.

EthanUK
EthanUK

Evening folks. Looking good so far. Keep it up Sox.

GarrettCRW
GarrettCRW

R. Delgado, you are NOT The Master.

GarrettCRW
GarrettCRW

Not shockingly, Vegas has drawn the Dodgers at LA of Anaheim of California of etc., a game that should have been at 1 so I could watch the Sox game now.

Jennie
Jennie

 @GarrettCRW I have Giants/A's.  That WOULD be my second choice but I want my first choice.  pouting :(

Jennie
Jennie

Livefyre issues or is everyone just silent?

Jennie
Jennie

There is my answer.

Tex19
Tex19

ok Jared Carrabis just posted that the KMen in CF at Fenway have unveiled a new puppet....looks like Pedey

Sharpie
Sharpie

Oh fuck, it's Pedey.

Jennie
Jennie

 @Sharpie I hope Pedey hears that.

Sharpie
Sharpie like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

 @Jennie I really think he needs to go on the DL, heal his thumb, then rehab in Pawtucket.

Madraider
Madraider like.author.displayName 1 Like

I thought the Dutch were only good at sticking their fingers in dikes.

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