Beer not included.

Tonight, the Red Sox 2012 Redemption Show enters its second night in Baltimore. But the big news is that Kevin Youkilis, AKA Youkbacca, AKA Ol’ Hairy Bastard, AKA The Beard That Walked, AKA Simon Pepper, Esq, AKA Lord Belton Schwarm, AKA Little Jimmy Pestilence, will be back in the line-up and playing first. That means A-Gon will be in the outfield and, perhaps most significantly, Will Middlebrooks remains at Youk’s old haunt, playing third.

Also, New Guy Scott Podsednik will be on hand, pushing the Red Sox dangerously close to Selig’s new “Too Many Players With Long Last Names” tax threshold.

We’ve got Doubront on the hill with a chance to push us over .500 for the first time this season. Hell, if we win and the Yanks lose, we’ll be out of the AL East cellar. It’s the outhouse to the penthouse, bitches! And that dirty, bearded bastard shall lead them.