“Now look. I understand that you thought you’d be getting some serious output from the likes of Ellsbury, Youkilis, Crawford and Bailey this season. Alright, maybe not Crawford, but you get my point. Thing is, your team has never looked sharper in 2012 than it has over the last few games. And it’s guys named Middlebrooks, Aviles, Ross and Byrd gettin’ shit done. So despite the fact that the Red Sox are gonna be workin’ the basement for the foreseeable future, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be cheering your balls off (or, for you ladies, your aprons off) for them to keep this streak alive.

Seattle’s in the house tonight. And if you don’t like the sound of ‘Jon Lester versus Jason Vargas,’ I’ve got no place for you on my Christmas list.

Somebody got to pay, folks. Somebody named the Seattle Mariners.”