Now, more than ever, it's a question for our times.

The basement dwellers are rising up in the AL East! Sox win three in a row! Jays win three in a row! Meanwhile, the Mighty Orioles have dropped five straight and the second place Rays have lost three straight. Even better–the Rays and Os square off this weekend, meaning we’ll likely be surrendering the keys to our cellar digs within the next 72 hours, and possibly pulling a George-and-Weezie to the top of the charts.

But we take it one game at a time. And tonight, Josh Beckett is on the hill. I’m thinking “sweep.” And I’m also thinking “four in a row.” And I’m also also thinking “fill the apartment with ‘professional’ women and a vodka-spraying slip-and-slide and let’s crank this evening up to eleven.”

By Odin, I call for a win. Out, cursed Tigers. Out with ye.