Yes, I know this is Vultan from Flash Gordon. Just work with me.

Interleague play has certainly changed a lot since it was first established by Ares, the Greek god of war.

For one thing, the gold helmets have been replaced by natty caps. For another, the losing team is not blindfolded, hogtied and fed to the Minotaur (although rumor has it Bud Selig is looking to bring this back in 2013).

Thankfully, the rule that the losing team’s families and loved ones would be subjugated under the winning team has remained in place throughout the years. And that’s what makes tonight’s Red Sox-Phillies mash-up so intriguing.

Surely Jon Lester does not wish a life of indentured servitude upon his wife and child–especially under Jimmy Rollins. And I can’t imagine David Ortiz would like to see his worldly possessions become the property of Ty Wigginton. So here’s hoping that these warriors bring their “A” games tonight, and that the Red Sox can get back on the winning track after dropping two of their last three.

Feel free to enjoy tonight’s game whilst nude and being fed grapes by a couple of local “professionals.” Because that’s just how the folks who invented interleague play intended it.