Hello Red Sox Nation. Tito here. Kicking back with a cauldron of Bigelow and watching your team soil the sheets on a nightly basis. Remember you all thought 7-20 was bad? Heh. You’re on pace for a worse month than that. But what did you expect? Your brass took every position of strength (closer, set-up and bridge guy) and turned them into weaknesses. Your closer is off saving games and Irish-jigging in Philly, your set-up guy is getting bitch-slapped as a starter, and your all-purpose middle-reliever/bridge guy is looking like a scared rabbit in the ninth. Shrewd moves all around.

I may not have invented the wrap or won any ballet trophies and you can bet your ass these robo-knees weren’t biking to work, but who wouldn’t want a straight-up trade with ESPN right now: me for Bobby V? Heh, I thought so.

Is it a coincidence it’s the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park AND the Titanic? Maybe you can get Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet to throw out the first pitch on the 15th? Or come out of the bullpen? Yup, gonna be a fun year for me. Peace out.