This is my new betting strategy and it’s foolproof. I’m going to start picking game-winners based solely on the quality of the starting pitchers’ profile pics. So for this analysis, we throw out the fact that Doubront is a rookie trying to make a name for himself in the rotation. We also disregard the fact that Humber threw a perfect game in his last outing.

Here’s how I break it down. Humber gets points for quality of facial hair. His little beard thingy is neatly trimmed while Doubront’s looks a little careless. Body language points go to Felix, he’s got a bit of a head tilt going on while Humber is very rigid. And the tiebreaker goes to Doubront for his “I know something you don’t know” grin while Humber has more of a deer-in-the-headlights expression.

If this works, I’m taking my talents to Vegas. And I’ll be using this bulletproof strategy to pick my team and win my share of the $200 in tomorrow’s one-night, FREE, Draftstreet/Surviving Grady fantasy game. Register now and play along if you dare. Otherwise I get some money to sock away for future bail needs, and Red can afford a few more lap dances.