"Your locker's over there. Behind the statue."

Some good news out of New York: The Yankees have unwittingly signed Manny Delcarmen to a minor-league deal. Those tools. Little do they realize that if (some might say “when”) the Pride of West Roxbury High makes the big club, he’ll almost certainly be relaying key information about his fellow Yanks pitchers (weaknesses, injuries, likelihood of being disoriented by “Sweet Caroline” played at high decibels) to our “base of operations.” And by “base of operations” I mean Tim Bogar on a ham radio.

Excellent work, Agent Delcarmen. And remember: when Robinson Cano comes down with sudden food poisoning before a critical Boston series, just remain cool, look innocent, and keep the mood light by repeatedly referencing something funny you saw the other night on a re-run of “Third Rock from the Sun.”