Back in 2007, when Josh Beckett’s breath stirred the trees and everything he found to his disliking crumbled instantly to dust, the Cleveland Indians thought they’d found a way to stop this madman from driving a monster truck all over their World Series aspirations. Naturally, since they couldn’t get in his head or mess him up with their bats, they went the “old girlfriend” route, digging up former fling Danielle Peck to sing the National Anthem before game 5 of the ALCS.

Needless to say, the plan — if you can even call it that — backfired. Beckett went eight strong, giving up just five hits and one run while striking out 11 and teabagging the GM’s trophy wife for good measure. The Sox were down in the series, 3-1 before the first pitch. By the time it was over, the Indians’ spiral had begun; over the last three games, we outscored ‘em 30-5. That wasn’t just a defeat, it was an all-out pantsing on national television, featuring everything short of David Ortiz actually hitting Fausto Carmona in the bangers with a coconut.

I bring this up because tonight, Beckett is facing the Indians. And I have to believe that since this episode, he gets particularly giddy at the prospects of slapping the Indians around. To the point that he may very well be sitting in the Sox clubhouse right now, slapping a Ryan Garko jersey between two slices of bread and gnawing at it.

The Sox haven’t dropped two games in a row at home to Cleveland since 2005. I see no reason we should start now.