Shut down the internet, folks. We can’t top this.

I’m actually surprised at how good Youk is in a lot of these commercials. If his agent can’t score him a sitcom deal once he retires from baseball — I’m thinking a supporting role in which he plays an ornery butcher who dispenses rich advice on the subjects of love and cockpunching — then he’s just not working hard enough.

Also, seriously now: which of these three guys would you least like to share a five minute elevator ride with?