Yankee free-agent negotiations: Questionable at best

As if the damn dirty apes didn’t f$%k our shit up enough, what with destroying Los Angeles in about 100 years and putting Chuck Heston through such hell, they also played a role in keeping Scutaro out of Friday night’s game, as read in today’s Globe:

Marco Scutaro was crossing a street in Seattle Thursday night to catch “Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes’’ when a car approached and he quickened his pace to get out of the way. That’s when he felt some pain in his lower back. By Friday night, Scutaro told Francona he wouldn’t be able to play.

No word if the driver was distantly related to Roddy McDowell. But I wouldn’t put it past those savages.