Regarding your new Sox promo video/rap single/nightmare fodder “This Is Boston.”
I had a few thoughts on this. Because, as I see it, no one’s opinion should count more to you than a pale, nerdish guy who blogs about the Red Sox.
On the positive side, it’s nice to see that you’ve brought Mark Bellhorn out of retirement. Because that’s got to be him rapping in this thing, right?
Also, any time you can get the players involved in a production such as this, it’s a good thing. Even though, frankly, it pales in comparison to “My Dinner With Andre Dawson,” which, you might recall, is that script I’ve been sending you for the past six years, or my sitcom pitch for “Youktopia.”
However, this video is a cornucopia of missed opportunities.
For one thing, not enough Heidi. The Dropkick Murphys got her to swill fake whiskey shots in their latest video. The lady works for you and the best you could get is a couple of “holy-God-why-am-I-doing-this” lines? I want to see her shaking her ass, seducing suburban dads in the stands and showing off a Phil Plantier tattoo snaking down her left thigh. Hell, I see that every night in my dreams and she’s not even on my payroll.
Also, not enough TC. Even though he plays it straight like an arrow, I suspect that lurking beneath those glasses and that “serious sportscaster” demeanor is a guy who desperately wants to end each post-game show with a heartfelt rendition of “Dick in a Box.” I know Remy’s your go-to guy for diminutive white guy antics, but Doc Caron has teetered on the precipice of cult sensation-hood for far too long. Time to let him go nuts.
If you’re gonna make a video like this, why not go all-out and try to swing Paul Giamatti? You’ve got something of an in, since the Sox were his dad’s favorite team. And the fact that he once tackled snowmen on the Jimmy Fallon show indicate he’s down with hijinks. I’d take 90 seconds of Paul G and Youk lipsynching to The Breakfast Club’s “Right on Track” than anything you’ve got here.
Maybe it’s me, but I kept waiting for the crazy cab driver from those Olympia Sports commercials to take out the rapper with his car. Something to consider for the inevitable sequel?
I notice an absence of puppets. If you’re ever looking for a puppet–and why wouldn’t you be?–I know a guy. And he works for free.
Speaking of money, no one got paid for this, right? Tell me no one got paid to do this.
No DeMarlo Hale. The f#$k?
Lastly, is it just me or does Kathryn Tappen look a lot like Dee from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia?
Maybe I’m way off. I’ll let the people decide in the comments.