That’s right ladies, I’m back. Seventies Jim at your service. And I mean that in any way you want to take it, sexual or otherwise. Anyway, I dig the sights and sounds, the styles of 2011 so much, I’ve decided to stop by more often. For example, I can’t get enough of that Red Bull stuff y’all drink. Man, I sit down with a six-pack of that and turn on Real Housewives…good times.
But that’s not why I’m here. I’ve already told you what this team is capable of. Now I’m going to tell you how they’re going to do it. With a kick-ass, take-no-prisoners, sweep-the-leg attitude we have not seen in baseball before. This team has a mission to accomplish, and whatever wreckage is left in their wake, so be it.
The Yankees are obvious; rivals are rivals and this team will relish in displaying the talents of the likes of Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford. Whether it involves hitting home runs, stealing bases, stellar defense, or inserting a Louisville Slugger up the poop chute of anyone in pinstripes, those talents will be utilized.
The Rays are another easy target. If for no other reason than to rub the “what could have been” in the faces of Manny and Damon, the Sox will dominate.
Thanks to the flapping piehole of Buck Showalter, the Orioles are now a giant beeping target on the Sox radar. Normally, there might have been a few of the regulars taking days off against Baltimore with “flu-like symptoms” (what we used to call a mother-flippin’ hangover). But not now, Buck, you get the full arsenal.
That leaves the Blue Jays. Hell, the Sox’ll kick their ass just on principle. They’re from Canada for Christmas sake.
Make no mistake, ladies, you are about to witness something special. Almost as special as what lurks in the trousers pictured above.