When my eyes caught the words “Heidi Watney Video Diary” I thought my perverse prayers had been answered. Yesterday’s screen cap showed Heidi and some hot brunette, all smiles. I immediately pulled down the shades and started the video. But it was about her cousin winning some golf tournament and he was kissing the brunette. Not what I expected.

Today’s episode features Heidi in the dugout talking to a perplexed Jerry Remy and a rather pedophilish-looking Don Orsillo. Not very exciting. It needs Heidi on camera, not behind it. And car chases. And puppets.