The horror. The horror.

Although I’m not the world’s biggest football fan, I found myself tuning in to the Super Bowl last night for the pure spectacle of the drunken celebrities, overrated commercials and the Black Eyed Peas signaling the death of music as we know it.

But once I saw the quick shot of A-Rod being fed popcorn by Cameron Diaz, I had to shut the TV off, rinse my eyes with Coors Light and sit bare-ass naked in the snow for an hour to effectively de-program myself.

Thanks, Fox.