Taking a cue from the clever folks who petitioned to get Betty White on Saturday Night Live, I’m taking up a campaign of my own. My mission is to get Dustin Pedroia and Kevin Youkilis to bust a version of Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair” similar to the one Jimmy “Neil Young” Fallon and Bruce “Bruce Springsteen” Springsteen performed on Late Night a while back:

This campaign will be waged exclusively from my apartment, involving no letters or Facebook pages or hand-painted signs, but rather an elaborate series of telepathic messages, beamed directly from my mind to theirs.

I’m willing to throw down $500 of my own cash — in the form of a donation to the Jimmy Fund — to see this happen. Who’s with me?