Might we suggest one of our many shirts, which can be yours for the ridiculously low price of just $14 and free shipping? You can order them right here. Easy as Javier Vasquez!

And for those folks on your list who may not be computer-savvy, Surviving Grady: The Book is a splendid introduction to the world of lunacy that is us. It’s also the most booze-addled chronicle of the 2004 Red Sox season that we know of. You can get it at Amazon–right now!

For everyone else, I’d just go with this: