Statistics say we won’t make the playoffs. BUT I SAY STATISTICS ARE DUMB AND MOSTLY DRUNK! So how can you trust them? Go with your HEART, people. It is a MIGHTY MUSCLE that will tell you that the Red Sox have as good a chance of making the playoffs as any other team six games back in the Wild Card standings about to face the dregs of their division.

If you don’t believe your heart, well, then, f@#k. Take it from a puppet:

Thanks to the folks at Treehouse Studios for the puppet doppelganger.