They will in my neighborhood, God damn it, because if John “Everybody’s” Lackey, he of the 12-11 record, drops another game to the lowly Orioles, I swear by god and sonny Jesus, Imma booze up and riot. RIOT! A 12-12 record (assuming a loss tonight) for the bazillions of dollars we shipped to his door? Needless to say, I expected a little bit more. Even 13-11 won’t bring sunshine and cartwheels, but it may save some neighbors from seeing my drunken, naked, horrible ass tonight.

For their sake, John, I beg of you: Win the f&#king game.