Thank you, John Lackey, for turning it up to 11 and getting us one step closer to my dream of sweeping the Angels. Why you were sent back out for the eighth inning is something only Teets and his therapist know for sure, but I appreciate the badassery you displayed before a crowd that surely wanted to see you whacked around like a sack of flour. Seven plus strong from the starter, then Bard and the Papel-Bot. That’s the way it’s supposed to work, fellas.
Lackey also got the quote of the night, responding to the jeers that greeted him in his return to Anaheim:
“That won’t be forgotten, that’s for sure,” said a visibly irritated Lackey, who gave up seven hits and two runs in 71/3 innings in the same ballpark where he was the winning pitcher in Game 7 of the 2002 World Series. “Nobody wants to get booed like that. The scoreboard talks the loudest.”
As awesome as Lackey was, my personal highlight came in the eighth, when Ortiz scored from first on an Adrian Beltre double. Watching Ortiz motor around the bases like a guy trying to hit the buffet before they shut down the meat carving station was hilarious and horrifying all at once. Everytime I see the man slide, I have to look away for fear he’ll never be getting back up, but he made it happen. It wasn’t pretty, but it was effective. Just like my junior prom date.
Lastly, congrats to comics genius and comments section regular Kurt Busiek, whose Astro City is en route to a movie theatre near you. Denton and I are, of course, frighteningly available for crowd scene shots.