A Momentary Lapse of Reason

by Red on July 25, 2010

"Eric Patterson in center? Sounds good to me."

Eric Patterson. Dude.

If there’s one thing that must be fixed in your brain it is that when a no-no is on the line — and especially when a perfect game is on the line — you catch everything that’s hit to you. Just ask Mike Lansing, who was put on this earth specifically to make a wondrous stab of a sinking bloop fly to preserve Hideo Nomo’s no-hitter for the Sox back in 2001. When you’re closing in on history, you don’t want to be the guy who ordered JFK the convertible or lit a cigar on the Hindenberg.

Yet, the very fact that you were even in the game, the fact that you were our starting centerfielder, kinda tells us everything we really needed to know about last night’s game. And perhaps about the 2010 Red Sox. Because even as Jon Lester worked his magic, mowing down Mariner after Mariner and taking a perfect game into the sixth, I kept wondering when the other shoe would drop, and praying that our offense could conjure at least a couple more runs above the one they got on an Ortiz home run. So when Patterson lost an easy fly ball to ruin the perfect game and the next better cranked one out of the park, I quietly nodded. Then I put my balls in the waffle iron.

It was an ugly loss and really a Cliffs Notes version of how our 2010 season has gone. Replacement parts strewn about the field. An injury-riddled, punchless offense (the Sox are 87-for-385 over the last 11 games). And a seeming inability for timely hitting and lights-out pitching to appear simultaneously.

Mostly, I just feel bad for Jon Lester, who was on his way to adding another mystifying chapter to his young and stellar storybook career before that dropped fly ball set him off his game. And even though he manned up and took the blame, I can only hope that Patterson was forced to wear Youk’s game-used jock like an oxygen mask for the balance of the evening. Hell, I hope everyone but Lester had to endure it.

Today, Daisuke is the difference between a split with one of baseball’s worst teams or a 3-1 series win. Where’s your money, honey?

101 comments
lb -- bb's brother
lb -- bb's brother

He was fucking great in 2007 -- was part of an instrumental team that got us a WS.

As BB quoted me, you are witnessing his sad decline -- maybe he needs to go -- but I'm not going to denigrate him.

Rich in the garage
Rich in the garage

Im thinking we got Peal Harbored by him. He appeared all nice and friendly...he even smiles and makes sushi for charity...then POW he blows up and sinks our battleship. 

Rich in the garage
Rich in the garage

Im thinking we got Peal Harbored by him. He appeared all nice and friendly...he even smiles and makes sushi for charity...then POW he blows up and sinks our battleship. 

DoctorX
DoctorX

Fuck.

Double Fuck.

Triple Fuck.

Among others, I will welcome Tito's explanation for pulling Bard for Okie--may be some "good reason"--maybe Bard looked tired, I do not know. 

Okie shat the mound.  Fine.  However, the lack of offense deserve a big "thank you fucking much" for this game even being close.  Really beginning to miss Pedie, V-Mart, and, yes, Jacoby.

:(

--J.D.

DoctorX
DoctorX

Fuck.

Double Fuck.

Triple Fuck.

Among others, I will welcome Tito's explanation for pulling Bard for Okie--may be some "good reason"--maybe Bard looked tired, I do not know. 

Okie shat the mound.  Fine.  However, the lack of offense deserve a big "thank you fucking much" for this game even being close.  Really beginning to miss Pedie, V-Mart, and, yes, Jacoby.

:(

--J.D.

BB
BB

can't blame zaka-san for this one.
it was all okg this time.
and it was painful to watch - LB called "the sad decline of OKG."

Rich in the garage
Rich in the garage

What the fuck did we do to Japan to deserve this? Seriously guys...you suck.

English Sox Fan
English Sox Fan

Well, that was a giant steaming St. Bernard dropped dog turd of a game.

English Sox Fan
English Sox Fan

Well, that was a giant steaming St. Bernard dropped dog turd of a game.

hannah
hannah

9th inning comeback?

hannah
hannah

still no outs? this is kinda a nightmare.

BB
BB

is francona awake, is he taking a piss, is he fucking blind?

Dewey
Dewey

Freaking OKI

hannah
hannah

this is not cool

hannah
hannah

that's kinda insane.

hannah
hannah

yes, i probably should have been specific about that.

MNSox
MNSox

but only from the top half of the inning....

Dale Sams
Dale Sams

26 million dollars of combines uselessness against lefties.

hannah
hannah

know what would be cool? offense. you know, hits, runs. those kinds of things.

Tex
Tex

anyone here?

Rich in the garage
Rich in the garage

With Daisuke pitching the only think I'm taking is shots of pepto. (with a little rum black cherry vodka for flavor)

English Sox Fan
English Sox Fan

Not yet.  I've seen up to the one before that now.  Will try and catch up this week.

*hopes Clarkson doesn't fawn all over Cruise*

English Sox Fan
English Sox Fan

Not yet.  I've seen up to the one before that now.  Will try and catch up this week.

*hopes Clarkson doesn't fawn all over Cruise*

Alexis
Alexis

Did you end up seeing last week's with the motor homes?

I laughed so hard I cried.

English Sox Fan
English Sox Fan

Alexis - tonight's Top Gear is already up on The Biz.

Alexis
Alexis

It would have to be a vodka gimlet as I don't have gin in the house.

hayes
hayes

Easy - trick is that the gimLet has Lime and the gibsOn has an Onion.   :)

hayes
hayes

Easy - trick is that the gimLet has Lime and the gibsOn has an Onion.   :)

Alexis
Alexis

I'm in for mad men. Can you teach me to make a Gimlet? hee

English Sox Fan
English Sox Fan

Maybe Dice-K should donate money every time he walks someone instead.

hayes
hayes

Hello all - quick pop in.  Bar is doing an amazing beer dinner tonight so I'll be slinging.

This'll be wrapped up by Mad Men, right?    ;)

WIN DAMMIT!

hayes
hayes

Hello all - quick pop in.  Bar is doing an amazing beer dinner tonight so I'll be slinging.

This'll be wrapped up by Mad Men, right?    ;)

WIN DAMMIT!

MNSox
MNSox

laws of narrative demand it.

Alexis
Alexis

They have to do this when I need to shower and go to the grocery store, don't they?

Alexis
Alexis

Beltre! Woo! Laser show!

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