Cuz I'll be gone.

Daisuke, I can’t say anything bad about your first couple years with the Sox. You ate barrels of money but won 33 games and helped us win the 2007 World Series.

Lately, however, your stock has fallen. Considerably. To the point that I find you at once the most infuriating and fascinating member of the pitching staff. A guy who can sandwich a brilliant one-hitter against the reigning NL champs between two miserable performances. A guy who always seems to nibble when he could be going in for the kill.

I know there’s a Cy Young winner inside you, buddy. You just have to decide whether or not you want to get on the bus. Trust me, there’s damn good stuff on the bus — four different types of meat, free beer, waitresses with skirts hiked up to there. It’s a place you want to be. So come on, Daisuke. Get on the bus.

We’ve even saved a seat for you. Right there, next to Clay Buchholz.