A sweep of the Orioles? Yeah, that’d be nice. Especially since the last time we came around Camden Yards, we got swept away like yesterday’s deli tray. Today’s our chance to return the favor, to prove that we are Metallica to their Enuff Z’nuff, and avenge those loses. We’re a different team now, upwardly mobile and just a game and a half behind those buzzards from New York. By Monday morning, it could be just a half game.

We’re counting on you, John Lackey, to get us just a little bit closer. And backing you up will be the Sox’ first all African-American outfield since the glory days of Troy O’Leary, Darren O’Lewis and Carl McEverett. That’s right: Mike Cameron, Bill Hall and Darnell McDonald.

Sweeping Baltimore shouldn’t be a problem, boys. Bring me the head of Brian Matusz!