"Matsuzaka? Didn't you work at All-American Burger?"

You know that feeling we used to get when the Baltimore Orioles showed up at our door? The way we’d salivate, mentally count off the Ws and start imagining their starting pitchers in oversized sub rolls? Now I’m starting to think it’s the Os who are happy to see us. After all, The Worst Team in Baseball has only 6 wins thus far in 2010… but half of them are against the Sox.

Tonight, they stuck it to us again, sending us to our second straight loss and putting our current record against Those Whom We Were Once Psyched To Be Playing at 2-3. 2-3 against a team with a .250 winning percentage? Shameful.

Despite 12 hits and four home runs — two off the bat of Ortiz — the Wonder Twin suckage of Matsuzaka and Shakey Wakey couldn’t hold off… wait for it… the Worst Team in Baseball, giving up a mind-numbing 12 hits and 12 runs through seven innings. So for those of you keeping track, the Great Avenging of 2009 will apparently be on hold until Daisuke’s next start.

So where do we go from here? F#$k, I know where I’m going. To the local for last call. See you there.