Not that Tom Caron wouldn't look similarly fetching in this ensemble...

Look, we could go on and on about how our boys have lost their last four match-ups against the worst team in baseball. How the new battle cry in Baltimore is, “Man, if only we could play the Red Sox every day!” Or how the 2010 Red Sox campaign, if it continues on its current trajectory, could be over by June.

But where’s the fun in that? Before the bounty of riches that was 2004, I suffered through Sox teams like 1994’s, which had the balls to call Chris Howard, Greg Harris, Ken Ryan, Jeff Russell and Tony Fossas a bullpen—and that’s a crew I wouldn’t even let work the sandpaper for my Pinewood Derby car.

Bottom line: there’ll be plenty of time for mixing tall glasses of Jack and cyanide later this summer. Right now, I’ve got my head all up in this article on former NESN reporter Tina Cervasio, which a reader kindly posted on our Facebook page.

I’m man enough to admit that once Heidi Watney sashayed through the door, I could barely remember sweet Tina’s last name. But like that long lost girlfriend who never quite gets out of your blood (and I mean that in an innocent, non-Herp kinda way), Mrs. Cervasio still makes my heart do the flippy flop. And there’ll always be a place for her in the four-way pillow fight of my dreams, alongside Heidi, Amalie Benjamin and Peter Gammons.