Heidi and Millar: Together at Last

Finally back in Boston and catching up on a week’s worth of Sox news, and quite happy to hear that Kevin Millar — El Bencho himself — will be joining the NESN crew as a Red Sox studio analyst.

I wasn’t always kind to Mister Meelar during his stint with Boston. But his penchant for rallying the troops and inciting the crowds at times when we needed it most was legendary. While he wasn’t necessarily the guy I wanted to see at the plate in the bottom of the ninth (although he did draw The Walk that enabled The Steal), he was most definitely the kind of person I wanted in the clubhouse, keeping the guys loose and dissolving the tension and turmoil that can deflate teams and trash entire seasons. If I had my way, high schools across America would stop teaching kids that silly-ass Gettysburg Address and start pile-driving Millar’s infamous “don’t let us win tonight” tirade into their brains.

Perhaps most importantly, let’s not forget that Millar makes classic literature even better.

By the time he’d packed his bags, I was begging the Sox front office to bring him back as Inspirational Guru–kinda like Phil Jackson, but with booze and hookers. The NESN gig is the next best thing, as it will get him close to the guys, and maybe inject a little of that vibe that kept the team loose back in 2004.

Even better, it gives us, the viewing public, unlimited exposure to his hijinks. And I’m currently taking bets on what will happen first: Millar doing an entire interview pantsless or Millar getting punched in the mouth by a frustrated Jim Rice.

So welcome back, El Bencho. We may need you now more than ever.

Meanwhile, interleague play can suck it.