Traditionally, a fine spring day is time for opening windows, unfurling umbrellas and dusting off lawn furniture. At my place, it’s time to hide the valuables, stash the glass and punch-proof the walls. Because baseball season’s back. And we take that shyte very, very seriously ’round here, Mack.

The World Champions are in the house tonight for Game One of 2010. But they’ll get no respect from me. In fact, I see tonight’s game as the perfect opportunity for Beckett to get the first of the 73 wins I’m predicting for him for this season.

Look at this guy. Look at the evil grin. The knowing eyes. The obviously alcohol-induced thoughts being clearly communicated through his face. That’s Commander Kick Ass of the F#$k Yeah Brigade. And on Opening Day, in our house, against that most despised annoyance from the Bronx (no, not Spike Lee… the Yankees!), do you think he’s going to let us down?

Me neither. Bring it on. It’s Motherflippin’ Opening Day at last!