Honestly, seeing Commander Kick Ass throw three perfect innings is always a good time, whether it’s a grapefruit game against the Cardinals, a mid-September contest against the Yankees, or a backyard Wiffle ball game against a team of Hooters girls. So I’m happy.

Even better, his replacements — Papelbon, Okajima and Ramirez — kept the party rolling, tossing no-hit ball until the seventh, when Manny Delcarmen served up a home run.

Hey, all I ever ask out of a spring training game is that no one break a leg or tear an ass muscle. If something cool happens — say, six innings of no-hit ball or a three-run Jose Iglesias homer — that’s just gravy. So well done, gentlemen. Well done.