For me, it’s “Julian Tavarez Seeks to Mate With Local Bloggers.”
Followed closely by, “Youk’s Jockstrap Escapes Locker, Heads for West Roxbury.”
But right up there would be “Pedroia leaves Spring Training Game With Strained Wrist.” And, holy kazoosis, this was an actual headline in the papers yesterday, after The Elf got hurt diving for a ball in the first inning of a grapefruit game against the Twins.
Thankfully, the general sense is that he’ll be just fine. As Teets explains:
“When he went after that ball, it was the back of his wrist. He had limited swelling. We’re going to get him X-rayed in the morning, just because we should. Their doctor came over. I don’t think there’s a problem. He might be a little sore tomorrow. Hopefully that’s all it is.”
Alright, then. I’ll put away the cyanide tablet. For now.