Crazy John Lackey — so mean he once shot a man for snoring — is apparently coming to Boston. According to NESN, via ESPN:
The Red Sox have reached a “tentative deal” with the free-agent right-hander that will be worth “slightly less” than the five-year, $82.5 million deal A.J. Burnett reached with New York last year.
Last year, Lackey went 11-8 with a 3.83 ERA and shut out the Red Sox through 7 1/3 innings in Game 1 of the ALDS, which Boston lost in three games. In eight seasons with Los Angeles, he went 102-71 with a 3.81 ERA.
So we may have to revisit the infamous Ellsbury ‘n’ Elf in which the Lackster wants to be their roomie.
“Well f@#k I’m just a sort of down to earth guy who respects personal space and likes to hang with a couple beers and steaks on the weekends and has a cousin who has a cousin who’s like BFFs with Jessica Alba and I don’t have any pets just a shitload of gloves and also possibly steroids but they’re in a tiny container and won’t get in the way of anything. Also, I don’t smoke and I’m voting for McCain. And I hate the Yankees. And know several hot chicks, some of whom may stop in from time to time to party and/or disrobe. Oh and this is my Frisbee but it can be yours, too, through the process I call “sharing.” Which is what I’m all about.”