My favorite Hideki Matsui story is from the 2004 ALCS. The guy had been killing us games one through four, going 11-for-20 and knocking in 11 runs. Godzilla was stomping all over my dreams, making 2003 look like a good time at Make-Out Lodge by comparison.

Then, in game five, Pedro said, “F#$k this noise” and came in high and tight, practically dropping the Deki on his arse. From that point on, in games five through seven, Matsui went 2-for-14. Mission accomplished.

My second favorite Matsui story is something I saw at today about how his agent, Arn Tellem — who, along with Bean Stringfellow, could break away and form the Nation of Agents with Awesome Names — is using, of all things, the Huffington Post to play up his client:

Matsui combines the late-inning heroics of Yankees great Tommy (Old Reliable) Henrich and the superb professionalism of Paul O’Neill. He’s a complete player who always has taken pride in contributing to all facets of the game.

Also, loves his porno.