Why get out of bed and cart your nasty, hungover ass to the local Wal-Mart? We’ve got plenty of things to keep the Sox fan on your list happy.

Like select shirts for just ten bucks and free shipping (shirts that we promise neither myself nor Denton have already worn. In most cases). And for those hard-to-buy-for technophobes, might we suggest Surviving Grady: The Book, which lovingly captures the magical 2004 season (swear words and never-seen-on-this-site material included) in convenient book form. A mere $7.95 for a lifetime’s worth of memories and Curt Leskanic jokes.

Also, Jaegermeister, hookers and Doctor Who DVDs are God’s way of saying “I love you.”