I apologize for the lack of posting today. I did concoct a pretty good excuse involving an alien probe, a truckload of lumber and the cast of The Rockford Files. But to be honest, it went down something like this:
Red: Hey, I’m rubbish this morning. Can you post?
Denton: Hell yeah.
Red [five hours later]: Got that post?
Denton: Oh you meant today?
Anyway, we apologize once again and we look with great anticipation toward another mash-up with the Kansas City Royals, who are playing us like they’re an actual baseball team and shit. Tonight we get Clay Buchholz against Tony Lerew, which is totally the name of that guy you knew in college who always drank too much and was basically luggage before you went out, ensuring that at least one of you would get stuck carrying him around and propping his ass up the rest of the night. Check it out–he even looks like that guy. All smarmy and cuter than you. Stare into the eyes of Tony Lerew and tell me that you didn’t know and hate this guy in college. Or high school. Or at the factory. Or quarry. And I’ll bet even money he’s got at least fifteen Limp Bizkit tunes on his iPod.
It sure would be sweet to get out of dodge with at least a split of these jokers. So I’ll light the Curtis Leskanic votive candles to set the mood.