But tonight, with the chance to sweep away and crush the spirits of the Anaheim Angels, why in the heck did you pull Youkbacca out to the on-deck circle just to watch Rocco Baldelli pop out meekly to end the game? With two out and the tying run on first, would it not have made more sense to pinch-hit Ultra-Beard instead of Rocco, especially since Youk hasn’t seen any action in a couple days and is way, way below his recommended daily allowance of human flesh?
I mean, Rocco seems like the nicest guy in the world. But the man’s hitting .257 with 35 hits in limited play this season. Youk, on the other hand, gives pitchers the Sweaty Terrors because he is the Sweaty Terror. And even if he did just get over being all back spasmy, I’d prefer to have his 25 home runs, .314 average and sickeningly mangy ass at the plate in that situation.
Don’t worry, though, Tito. The wooden spoon goes to Varitits, for letting the tying run come home on a passed ball and contributing absolutely nothing at the plate.
On the bright side, we take the series. And we’re still gonna kick their asses in October.