Apparently, sometime after the rain delay of last night’s game, Tito decided to give the lads a rest and replaced the entire team — particularly the bullpen — with robot doppelgangers. This was evident the moment the Sox headed off the field with only two outs in the bottom of the sixth; robots, despite their advanced computer brains, are notoriously bad at counting outs. And because robot players are also inherently lazy and nonchalant, within what seemed the blink of an eye, our comfy 10-1 lead became an 11-10 kick to the pills. So what should have been a chapter for the John Smoltz memory books became a first-night-in-prison hazing for our relief corps.
As always, the Papel-Bot put it best in today’s Globe: “We pretty much imploded. I can’t think of any better word to use. It’s just what happened.”
Watching this lunacy unfold on my TV set, my first thought was I needed to punch out a nun. But after a few cherry Hostess Fruit Pies and a big glass o’ milk, I came to my senses. This isn’t the first time we’ve let a sure thing slip from our digits, and it won’t be the last. So rather than dwell on it, point fingers or gather up a pack of volunteers to hit the Tobin, I’m just gonna wallow in the goodness of these photos of Heidi, Amalie and the world’s luckiest chair, sent to us from reader Colin Burke.
Want more diversions? Here’s a clip from opening night of U2’s 360 Tour in Barcelona, featuring one of the band’s most underrated cuts, “Ultraviolet.” I’ll be at the second Gillette Stadium show in September, and promise a free beer to anyone who comes up to me in one of our T-shirts. Then you can feel free to mug me.
Okay, doesn’t that feel better?