Last night, Tim Wakefield and the Red Sox were robbed of a victory by one of their own fans. Leading 2-1 in the fourth, Langerhans hit what should have been the second out of the inning. Instead, a “fan” reached out of the stands with his cap and snatched the ball before it could drop into Youk’s glove. Langerhans hit the next pitch for a double and the floodgates opened for three runs.

“I knew I had made an immediate decision of regret,’’ said the fan, who would only use his nickname, Zupa. “I stood up, I saw the ball, I saw lights, and then it came down.’’

An immediate decision of regret? Who talks like that? This “Zupa” is clearly one of the cyborgs that Hank Steinbrenner engineered to derail the Sox, since Cashman and Girardi are clearly not capable. Planted in the stands with Red Sox gear as a disguise, they are programmed to take any opportunity to disrupt the game. There is also a female version wired to streak across the field and hump whatever player’s leg is having a good game.
We can’t make this shit up. Oh, and happy 4th.