July 2009

The news that broke yesterday about David Ortiz being on “the list” of 104 players who tested positive for steroids has me in a funk. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can only wait for the rest of the story and hope that there is something that will make this better. The only thing [...]

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That’s what it feels like, bro. That’s what it feels like. Oh, and f@#k Giambi.

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Reporter: Considering the struggles this team has had scoring runs of late, did you feel that you put your teammates in a difficult position by giving up five runs in the top of the first? Brad Penny: I’ve had sex with Alyssa Milano and Eliza Dushku. Reporter: [Fades into thin air from sheer inadequacy.]

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After Tuesday night’s shyte show, I went into last night’s game wanting nothing but carnage and chaos, with the Sox whipping the A’s back into submission and correcting this gross imbalance of the baseball food chain. Instead, the Sox took it in the shorts, spotting Oakland five bloody runs in the first inning. And our [...]

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Okay, that’s a little harsh. Because The Bot has only blown three saves this season. And Candlebox really, really sucks. But, if nothing else, last night’s ass fest at Fenway accomplished two things: First, it triggered the Daniel Bard no-trade clause, because if Papelbon’s ninth-inning impersonations of Heathcliff Slocumb are going to start occurring with [...]

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Sitting at my desk this afternoon, chewing on a particularly dismal ham sandwich, I had a vision. A vision of the Fenway scoreboard flashing the message halfway through tonight’s game that Roy Halladay would be coming to the Red Sox. On cue, the crowd goes apeshit. Jimmy Rice, already in the house to see his [...]

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Great piece on 12-game winner and Chief Executive Ass Kicker Josh Beckett in today’s Globe, but it would have been even greater if the editor had whittled it down to just these sentences: Reporters surrounded Varitek in the locker room and asked how he was hurt. “Why am I not 100 percent?’’ Varitek said. He [...]

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If you need to ask why Jim Rice is “the man” then you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog. Here is my favorite part of Jim Ed’s speech: I am a husband called Rice. I am a father called Dad. I am a brother called Ed. I am an uncle called Uncle Ed. I am [...]

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Nobody–and I mean nobody–works a suit, tie and/or shades like Big Jim Ed. That stuff with the bat, yeah, that was impressive, too. But Mr. Rice has upped the style game for broadcasters in this town so masterfully, I almost expect Tom Caron to show up some night with a monocle and top hat just [...]

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