Since he landed with the club in 2004, Teets Francona has been like our own, personal Captain Picard, taking us boldly where no Red Sox teams have gone in our lifetimes, tackling exotic and often dangerous alien life forms (Mariano Rivera, Youk’s jockstrap), and generally keeping the universe safe from intergalactic scum (see ALCS, 2004).

The man’s delivered us two World Series championships, shaving at least five years off his life in the process, and, last night, he picked up his five-hundredth win as Red Sox manager–practically five hundred more than Joe Kerrigan won us back in the day! And you don’t need to look any further than the moment Teets broke down in tears after Lester pitched a no-hitter to realize he’s got as much emotion invested in these guys as we do.

“I’m really lucky to be part of an organization that has a lot of players who have really been good and with a staff that helps me out more than I help them.”

No need for modesty, Teets. In all honesty, there’s no one I’d rather see at the helm of this ship.

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