“Charity work, mostly. And dodging Mirabelli, who I heard was in town and looking for some part-time work.”

“Planting. Bigelow tea-sipping. Werewolf porn. In that order.”


“Finally categorized all my favorite luncheon meats by sodium content and ‘sponginess’. This is going to make life on the road much easier.”

“Why? What did Jason say we did?”

“Praying to the Gods of Baseball that some unfortunate but minor and certainly not career-threatening accident befalls Daisuke Matsuzaka so as to get him on the DL for a couple weeks and necessitate a month-long stint in Pawtucket. Oh, and I took the kids to see Up. Not bad.”

“How do you expect the reigning AL MVP to spend an off-day? Clockin’ the hos, bitch!”

“Nothing all that interesting, trust me. And please don’t believe everything you read in the local police reports about naked pro baseball players found naked and passed out in the dumpster behind Bed Bath and Beyond. That stuff very rarely happens.”

“I really don’t see how it’s any of your f@#king business.”

“Funny you should ask. Magadan and I grabbed the Wally costume and a couple six packs and crashed this sweet sixteen party at the Park Plaza. Man, you should have seen some of the tail there. None of it legal, mind you, but when I’m in that Wally suit, I can… hey, you’re not taping this, are you?”