Apparently home plate umpire Bill Miller did. Did he have an afternoon tee time perhaps? A hot date with the waitress he met at Denny’s? All you can eat at the nearby potato bar? Whatever it was, Miller’s strike zone for Red Sox batters was the size of Roseanne Barr’s ass. Of the 14 strikeouts the Sox batters ended up with, 10 were on called third strikes.

On the other hand, you’d think the Red Sox would have figured it out after a while and stopped taking close pitches, wouldn’t you??? Yeah, me too.

The other guy that probably wants to get away is David Ortiz. The artist formerly known as Big Papi went 0-for-7 with three strikeouts, and left a mind-boggling 12 men on base. His last at-bat was a disgrace. Bases loaded and a 3-1 count in the top of the 12th. He’d already struck out 3 times. Maybe, just maybe, you crowd the plate a little and take a couple of pitches? Hope to get plunked or get ball four? Nope. Ortiz took a big old-fashioned whack at the next pitch and dribbled it weakly in front of the plate. Inning over.

Not far behind on the suck list was Jason Varitek. The Captain went 1-for-6 with two K’s and seven left on base.

The stars of the offense were Julio Lugo (5-for-6) and Dustin Pedroia (4-for-6).

Brad Penny had a decent start, giving up fours runs in 6-and-a-third. The bullpen was phenomenal: five innings pitched, four hits, and just one run. Unfortunately that one was the game-winner. A frustrating loss, to say the least.

A weekend series in Seattle should get things turned around. The Mariners just got swept in Texas and have won just once in their last 10 games. Unless Red is secretly in a San Diego lab cloning Jason Bay, we need someone else to come up with a clutch hit. I’m calling for Ortiz to come up big this weekend. Who’s with me? Anybody?