Not since the infamous Operation Canuck of 1978, in which then-President Carter ordered all Canadians out of the United States, have I been this happy to see our friends from the north sent abruptly packing. They came in with a healthy lead atop the AL East, proud and defiant and ready to let us know that they meant business. Tonight, they left Fenway humbled and outquaffed, and I can only hope that Youk was there, in full Uncle Sam regalia, pressing his bare ass against the windows of their bus while Papelbon tossed empty cans of Budweiser–the beer of America!–off their heads, reminding them that when they mess with the Red Sox, they mess with The United States!
And it was somehow fitting that Jason Bay, America’s adopted Canadian son, launched the first salvo through the Jays’ collective heart with a two-run, first-inning homer. From there, Lester went to work, allowing just one measly run through six and one-third innings, and helping us hand the Jays their first sweep of the 2009 season, while moving a three whole games closer to first place in the AL East. Man, if Lester gets back to 2008 form and Ortiz starts hitting… the rest of the league better watch the f@#k out.
But the true hero of the evening, without question, was Don Orsillo’s banana-yellow suit jacket. Clearly on loan from either Craig Sager or Guy Smiley, it looked like something an Amish pimp might wear, and his NESN cohorts could only gaze upon it in bewilderment.
Well played, Mr. Orsillo. Well played indeed.