May 2009

The crowd was chanting “LET’S GO PAPI,” refusing to give up on David Ortiz. And once again, the faithful were rewarded: His Papiness jacked his first home run of the season into the camera well in the center field triangle. You could almost see the weight lift off his shoulders as he took his first [...]

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I’ll be at tonight’s game with First Officer Rousseaux (AKA Curtis). We’ll be drinking, cursing, Heidi-stalking, Cito-dissing and generally doing the things that half-assed white guys do when they go to a ballgame. If you see us, please say, “Hi, Red.” And then run away. Because no good comes from mixing up with the likes [...]

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Lock up the women and children, Kevin Youkilis returns to the Red Sox line-up tonight after missing 13 games with a strained oblique muscle. How much have they missed that sweaty, hairy, ornery SOB? A lot. In the 25 games Youkilis played, the Sox went 16-10 while scoring an average of 5.64 runs per game. [...]

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I’ve made no secret of my love for local rock star, Friend of Gammons and all-around nice guy Bill Janovitz of Buffalo Tom. Now the guy’s gone and outdone himself with what I have to figure is the first-ever musical tribute to everyone’s favorite knuckleballer. Ladies and gentlemen, here’s Bill’s “The Ballad of Tim Wakefield”: [...]

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Earlier this month, when the great Dom DeLuise passed, I asked the Sox to win that night’s game for Dom. “Not DiMaggio,” I wrote, “Dom DeLuise.” Then, a few days later, Dom DiMaggio actually did die, which was pretty eerie. Like the time I started talking to someone out of the blue about that flick, [...]

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File another chapter in the ongoing, ever-baffling tale of Tim Wakefield. Last time out, he gets a “Shawshank Special” from the Anaheim Angels, giving up 11 hits in less than five innings. Last night, he reduces the East-leading Jays to a senior bowling league, allowing a paltry five hits and one run across eight innings, [...]

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Tonight’s a magical night at the Fens. Not because the boys are back home after a most wretched road trip, but because it marks the return of Kevin Millar, El Bencho himself, who’s in tonight’s starting line-up as the Jay’s DH. I’m an unabashed Millar buff, to the point that I’d even give the guy [...]

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That Jon Lester would start off 2-4 with a 6.51 ERA: Hey, even Superman got his ass handed to him by Phineas the Wonder Pony from time to time. Lester is merely human–a fact I often forgot during 2008, when the miracles seemed to come fast and furious every time he took the hill. Watching [...]

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Still reeling from jet lag and busy blocking the recent west coast swing from my mind. I snap my fingers, it doesn’t exist, just like my short-lived career in animal husbandry or the time me and Tom Caron woke up pantsless in Dubai. Instead, I’m thinking about the Mariners giveaway I referenced in the last [...]

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